It was during a period of my life when I quite literally had no time for me, that I realized I needed to make time more than ever.

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I was knee deep in postpartum life with my eight week old daughter, while trying to keep up with my super...let's call it...active two year old son. To top it off, we had just moved back to Toronto, Canada from London, UK, and we were still adjusting to all the changes an international move demands.

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My husband was, understandably,  beyond stressed at his new job, and my self confidence was at an all time low. 

I felt self conscious, exhausted, and inadequate.

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At a time when I was needed more than ever before, I felt redundant. 

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At a time when my body had just brought life into this world, I felt ashamed of it.

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I did not recognize myself in the mirror, and I didn't feel capable enough to do anything about it.

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There came a moment when things were particularly strained between my husband and I that I had a significant realization: I could not expect anyone else to make me feel better about myself. That had to start with me. Something needed to change if I wanted to be happier and no one else was going to do that for me, but me.

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It was then that I began a commitment to exercising daily.

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I couldn't leave the house, and money was a particularly sensitive topic at the time, so I borrowed a friend's BBG guide, picked up an old set of 10 lb dumbbells, and got to work.

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I vividly remember how much my body hurt. How often I was interrupted. How hard it was to walk to walk past my bed after I had put both kids down for their naps, and choose exercise over sleep.

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But I could not deny that with every completed work out, something was happening.

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Yes the endorphins were giving me energy and making me feel happy - both things I craved and needed in my life...but there was something more than that.

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I was beginning to feel something I hadn't in a long time. I was beginning to feel pride.

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Pride for myself. Just me. Not for my newborn daughter who was undeniably perfect. Not for my son who was coping so well with the transition to big brother and a new country. Not for my husband who had successfully relocated us back to Canada and was working insane hours to support us.

 

Pride for myself. And that was new. And that was important.

 

It was not until I started sharing my journey on social media that I realized just quite how important that was.

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As Moms, especially new Moms, we prioritize everyone and every thing above ourselves because we believe that is what is necessary to be a good Mother. Somewhere along the line we have learned that a 'good Mother' is selfless, and therefore that self-care is inherently selfish.

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I have learned that I am the best version of myself - the best mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, colleague - when I prioritize self-care and seek out the things that bring me fulfillment beyond my role as it pertains to someone else. And now that I know this, I'm determined not to keep it a secret.

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So I share it daily in the squares on my Instagram page, and now here, where I'm gracefully not limited to word count and space (it's been a problem).

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I share my wins - the life hacks that are making a huge difference, the sports bra that is revolutionizing my work out, the parenting methods that are working for my kids - but I also share the losses.

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The challenges in balancing motherhood, fitness, career, and oh, did I mention a social life? The times I fail to prioritize self care and as a result start to feel weak both mentally and physically. The parenting hardships. And it's through this sharing, through my vulnerability, that I have fostered an incredible community of strong women. Women who know they are not alone in this difficult period of a woman's life. Women who are beginning to realize the power of self-love and self-care. Women who are setting examples for the next generation. Women who realize that change starts with them.

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Thanks for being here!

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xoxo

Katie